For the first two weeks of my reflection I kept hearing the words, ‘let go’ play over and over in my brain at mildly challenging times. Ignoring these minor episodes, I waited for that bigger-than-life situation that would bridge me into a deeper understanding of the spiritual truth of ‘letting go and letting God’. But no key event came forward.
Then, the day before Christmas a major snowstorm hit. Rob went out to shovel the eight plus inches of snow while I started baking and cooking in expectation of our family’s Christmas gathering. I watched out the window as Rob struggled with the snow. Our old pieced-together snow-blower had finally given out. The snow had to be removed the old way –by hand. I knew I needed to help Rob, but I had cooking and baking to do. ‘Let go’ I heard as I left my cooking and baking to help outside.
After an hour plus of hard labor, Rob and I completed our work only to hear that more snow was on the way for Christmas Day. With his back aching, Rob looked up how much a snow-blower would cost. The result, buying a snow-blower was out of the question, at least for the month of December. We would save our money and hope that we could afford a new snow-blower before the next major snowstorm. Hearing the news, I knew that now the chance of buying a new computer to replace our old, slow one would be delayed even more. ‘Let go’ I heard.
As I resumed my baking and cooking, Rob opened our mail. “We got a card from your brother,” he said as he opened the envelope. Then, there was silence followed by tears. “He sent us a check,” Rob whispered. My expectations for receiving money were nonexistent. Outside of the time our house burnt, no one has ever given or sent us money that would allow us to buy more than a meal at a low-priced restaurant.---no inheritance money, no Christmas money, no bonuses, no birthday dollars, no lottery. I looked at the check my brother and sister-in-law sent; tears streamed down my eyes as well. Rob and I hugged each other and knew how blessed we were. We could not only buy a new snow-blower, but we could buy a new computer as well. We had decided to wait until we had enough money to replace each of the needed items. And, we were at peace with our decision. In that respect, I guess we had ‘let go’. Was this the deeper understanding? Somehow, it seemed the same as what I always had believed. You let God do his magic with trials and you remove any sense of sadness in doing so. No, this was not a deeper meaning, just a blessed one. And so, I waited again for inspiration as to what to write.
I entered the third week of reflections still waiting for the one event that would cause me to shift my thinking into a deeper understanding of what ‘letting go’ meant. Then, it hit me. For three weeks I had been being guided into a deeper understanding of letting go. I had just been ignoring the messages. I had frequently heard the words, ‘let go’, but I had ignored them due to the seeming insignificance of the events. I replayed in my mind some of the times I had heard the words, ‘let go’. ‘Let go’ I heard while saying ‘good bye’ to teachers and the 5th and 6th grade students with whom I had been working for years and now would only see occasionally as I headed back to being full-time in my prek-4 building. ‘Let go’ I heard as my job forever changed. ‘Let go’ reverberated in my mind when I chose being with my ill granddaughter at the expense of making the Christmas candy I had made for over 30 years. ‘Let go’ echoed again throughout my mind when I entered my school building without the traditional candy in hand. ‘Let go’ I heard when told that I no longer needed to do the outside duty that I had headed up for six years. ‘Let go’ the angels whispered when my thoughts caused me to miss out on the pleasures of a restful sleep. ‘Let go.’
Now I have come to a deeper understanding of the spiritual truth of ‘letting go and letting God’. We are to let go of any rigid expectations. I had a rigid expectation that no one ever sends us money. By letting go and letting God that is now changed. We are to hold nothing tangible as sacred. I had a rigid expectation that traditions around Christmas time are sacred. When I let people be more powerful than traditions, I let God in to bless us all. We are to let go of seeing ourselves as vital. In saying ‘good bye’ to students, teachers, and school responsibilities, I am opening myself to what lies before me. I will go where I am led to go and know that all will be okay.
We are just to be all that we can be at any one moment of time. We are to love and to let go so that we have enough room for God to enter. Things are just things. Time is just time. But people are a blessing to be cherished. Letting go is not just for trials. God can do magic at any time if we just allow ourselves to be open to the magic. ‘Let go and let God’. Yes, indeed, those are powerful words.
The next spiritual truth is ‘prayer is powerful’. Wouldn’t it be powerful if we all united in praying for peace in 2010?
A blessed new year to you all,
Linda