While writing my book, I vowed that I would no longer hide behind a smile. I began the process of being true to my inner feelings. I allowed myself to experience and appreciate sadness, anger, and irritation, as well as joy. This honoring of a multitude of feelings, however, seemed in conflict with all the recent spirituality focus on emotions. Many articles seemed to stress that spiritual beings were at peace, that anger, and irritations just did not exist. Yet, I knew they did for me. I kept my oath to be true to what I was feeling, to experience the sadness, the pain, the anguish. So, it was with particular interest that I began the living of this truth. Would I discover that perceived negative emotions were, in fact, destructive? Would I need to change how I had learned to deal with my emotions?
The focus into a deeper discovery began slowly, with no strong emotions surfacing for me to experience and process. As the time went on, I felt and breathed life into happiness, contentment, sadness, and irritation. As in the past, I loved just sitting and being present with my emotions. No real change in my perception of this truth was noticed.
Then one day when feeling a deep sadness that had arisen from a friend's pain, I firmed my belief that emotions are just part of my experience of being human. I decided on the spot that I enjoyed my emotions as they let me know that I am truly alive. And, in this case, they let me know that I truly cared about another's pain.
Have you ever observed how some people cry only at the movies? That venue seems to have become a safe haven for tears. But, are the tears truly for the fictitious characters in the movie? Or, are they tears that have been hidden by the denial of feelings? .
I haven't really developed a new understanding of living with my emotions. But, I have renewed my commitment to honor all emotions that surface. I don't believe that it is emotions that are problematic in our world. It is the stuffing of the emotions. Once emotions are felt, they often dissipate. But when emotions are repressed they seem to find their way out in less than desirable ways. I do not believe that it is okay to hurt others or to pollute the world with negativity caused by the refusal to acknowledge the negative thoughts and feelings that sometimes arise from within us. But, I continue to believe that all my emotions are gifts showing me that I am a human being having a human reaction. It is my job to feel my emotions and to appreciate the message or the gift that each is showing me. When I do so, then I feel that I am honoring who I am. I am a wonderful human being having a wonderful human experience. That experience brings sadness and irritations along with joy. For me to allow true joy, then, I believe, I must also allow sadness and anger to arise within me as well. It is not the emotion that is the problem. It is the suppression of the emotion that leads to destructive action that is the problem.
As I continue to honor all that I am feeling, I feel a greater sense of peace and love wells up within me. When I allow myself to be human, then I allow others to be human as well. When I honor my feelings, then I can honor the feelings of others. Authenticity enters our relationships.
The next truth is to welcome each day with self appreciation. Can you imagine our world if we would all do that each day? I'm going to try it out for a while. I'll let you know how that goes.
Love and peace,
Linda